Hey my dear friends 🙂 It is a beautiful autumn evening here in Stockholm and I am home listening to one of my favorite bands of all times, HIM. Every time I listen to their songs , it feels like I am 12 years old again and nothing has ever changed.
I am actually 25 now and there are some certain beliefs and values in my character and life that got “cultivated” from that little age of 12 and have been the same until today, when I am actually supposed to be a “big girl” and a “grown-up”.
Love Metal was the very first rock record that I ever bought, a record that introduced me not only to this kind of music, but also in the deep and maybe dark influences that music made and produced in Scandinavia has. The very first song that I ever listened by HIM was “The Funeral of hearts”. When I saw the video on MTV for the first time, I got so captivated by this so big contrast between darkness and light that their music has. And so the next week I had already gone to the record store to buy that album, with the thought that ” If funeral of hearts was just a part of the record, imagine what the whole album would sound like, these melancholic piano tunes, combined with Ville’s baritone voice type”. It was an album that I basically lived by, not just listened to.
When most of my classmates listened to this kind of music as a way to show that they were “different” and not “mainstream”, that they were rebellious and not boring, me on the other hand I tried to see beyond it, just like I always do with any kind of art. What is it like to actually live in Scandinavia? In Sweden? In Finland? Is it really dark and moody, or music is a way to express the chaos that exists in your head and has nothing to do with the fact that in the wintertime it is always basically dark?
In my ears, their music represents freedom. But the word freedom might mean a lot of different things. To me, it means feeling free in Scandinavia. And it has nothing to do with the weather conditions or the actual day and night darkness.
It is like a huge, burning desire of joy and happiness but with the right amount of sadness and nostalgia. A profound melancholic mood with a certain amount of excitement and freedom, along with the endless natural beauty of Scandinavia, anytime of the year but specially in the winter. The most unique and extraordinary experience of the northern lights, when the sky is shimmering and there’s so much beauty if you just lift your head up and watch the stars and the sky go green, blue, purple, silver, orange.
I cannot even describe in words how blessed I felt the first time I visited Finland. It was not only the fact that I was in “The Land Of HIM” but also like I was 12 years old and I achieved something that means so much to me. A relief, a dream coming true, a pure moment arising from clarity and faith. Their powerful words like “I see through the darkness my way back home, the journey seems endless but I will carry on” , “Softly the light shines in through the gates of grace on me and you, deceiving our restless hearts”. Yes, I was there. And yes I have a restless heart.
Many people find music like this or words like this too “idealistic”. But the moment that I start believing that, would be the moment that I betray myself and the people that I believe in. Not all kids are looking to get drunk and laid when they go out on a Saturday night. There is this part of the world, this part of the youth that is constantly looking for something higher to believe in. For something to hold on to. Bigger than anything that you see or experience in your every day life. Just like I did when I was little.
I hope that you can relate at some point with my words, and feel the same way about music and the bands that you love. 🙂 I have not actually been able to see them live yet, but I am totally sure that once I do, it will be an experience on a whole new level.
The pics below are from Sweden, Finland and my room! 🙂
Have a great Sunday night my friends and an even greater week! 🙂